Here's Just Some Of The Secrets You'll Be Learning In This Incredible, Mind-Blowing, Eye-Opening Complete Home Study Course:

-How to creat a magnetic attraction within minutes when you aren't even close to being her type!
-Getting her in bed fast despite the fact she may be commited to a boyfriend or an all-you-can-eat buffet!
-Creating instant states of overwhelming connection!
-Eradicating last minute objections to sex!
-Quotes, negation and other super-weasel patterns!
-Playing with her "mental pictures" and using language to engage her "sexual fantasy mechanisms"
-Using "stealth suggestion" to paint word pictures that trigger and stimulate her imaginative, emotional "Right Brain"
-Using her innate sense of time so it seems like she's already been in love with you for months when you've only known her for just a few hours!

-And TREMENDOUSLY, TREMENDOUSLY MORE!!!

Here are some facts that you may have not known about fat woman!

-They love Crisco rub-downs!
-Fat Chicks dig guys who can cook. Take some cooking classes!
-Cover yourself with bacon and watch them devour you!
-Buy a Chevy. Big Cars = Big Chicks
-Obese woman love professional wrestling, think about pursuing a career in sports entertainment.
-They love it when you talk dirty... in the kitchen!

Perhaps most importantly...

THEY ARE FAT!

THEY HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM!

ERGO, THEY WOULD TAKE ANY MAN THAT GIVES THEM THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF ATTENTION!

Don't take our word for it. Here's a letter from a satisfied customer:

Dear Fat Albert and Fat Tony,

I have been an avid enjoyer of large women, I just can't get enough of them. I'm always looking for ways to increase the number of women I get without decreasing their quality or their size. (I'm sure you're with me on this one.) I began your program for acquiring more and better fat women and I cannot thank you enough, my bed has never smelled more like gravy and syrup and it's all because of you. I immediately tried your Crisco rub-down method and the results were incredible, the fat chicks couldn't get enough of me; one of them even bit me!! I also purchased a Chevrolet, those mid-to full-sized vehicles went right along with my taste for full-sized women. Combined with my love of the WWF and the culinary arts I have been able to reel in a pair of plumper sisters, and I haven't been this happy since the Old Country Buffet opened near me, what a treasure trove that is for obese women! Your tactics along with my suave lifestyle have left more than a few over-sized women wearing my "pearl-necklace," and I just thought I should thank you.

Sincerely, Ignatius Sytatree

P.S. I've enclosed a picture of these beautiful supporters of raw lard. They've got more hams than the food shelter on Christmas day!