Our Mission:

To help Americans understand that smoking crack is not only a patriotic duty, but that it may prevent war in Iraq.

Why is the United States determined to go to war against Iraq? Although the current administration asserts that this war is motivated by the War on Terrorism, I'd like to shed some light on the subject. We aren't going to war because of terrorism, oil, or any other lame brain reason. Quite simply, we're going to war with Iraq because not enough Americans and Iraqis are smoking crack. This is not a joke. With Operation Crack-Attack at the forefront of this issue we will finally be able to attain the peace and stability we once had.

Are talks of war stressing you out?

Countless benefits and effects of crack:

• Magnification of pleasure and euphoria
• Hyper-Alertness
• Increased Sense of well being
• Decreased anxiety
• Lower social inhibition; more sociable and talkative
• Heightened energy, self-esteem and emotions aroused by interpersonal experiences

   

Think of the possibilities:

• Political disputes got your panties in a bundle? No matter, just bust out your trusty "made in the USA" crack pipe, fill that baby up with a little bit of the devil's dandruff and Wham! Bam! You've got yourself a Peace Treaty!
• If we could get George Bush and Saddam Hussein to sit down together and freebase a couple beautiful boulders of crack... we'd be in business!
• Why stop with the United States and Iraq? The Israeli-Palestinian conflict could be settled with just a few meetings at the local crackhouse. Perhaps a couple crackwhores could be thrown into the mix for good times?

 

And ultimately...